Boys and Girls

My daughter turns three a mere 10 days after my son turned 5. We have a busy week of birthday celebrations in an attempt give each child the attention and recognition they need for their big day. And, in the same week, Heather and I celebrate our anniversary. It's busy to say the least.

When we found out we were having a boy, we bought things that were blue and went with a sports theme for Elijah. After all, he will be a professional athlete so we should just probably get him ready early! When Heather was pregnant with Savannah I was unaware of the gender of our second baby - and that was my choice. I forced Heather and all those in the know to keep it quiet. I wanted to be surprised. So, we bought "gender neutral" colors and had a "gender neutral" theme, animals.

Now that Savannah is turning three we understand that she loves the color pink and babies, dolls, and Jessie from Toy Story. She plays dress up no more than six minutes after she wakes up in the morning and will continue to wow us with her fashion shows throughout much of the day. She will often ask me, "do I look pretty Daddy?" She is a princess.
She rocks sparkly chap stick and runs around in high heels.

Elijah likes the color blue and sports, wrestling, and destroying stuff. His first words when I get home are either: "Daddy, wanna play baseball?" or "Daddy, wanna wrestle?" If there is anything available to him to stack and then knock over, he will make use of that opportunity. While wrestling, he makes grunting sound effects. While playing cars, he makes car sound effects. He is a boy.

It's very interesting to see the gender differences between the two kids. One thing I have learned being a parent is the reality that boys and girls are different; more different than just anatomically. Their ways of thinking are different, their desires are different, their ways of playing are different. As a father, I think it's one of my responsibilities to teach my kids how to embrace their uniqueness. God made man in His image; male and female He created them. There are far too many men that dress and act like women. And those that haven't are learning to be men by watching Jersey Shore. Both situations are deplorable. Likewise, there are far too many women who have gone beyond embracing their femininity and have begun to exploit it. The feminists cry, "we are more than baby-makers and bakers.." That is true. But certainly "the more" that they refer to isn't being construction workers, soldiers, and professional fighters is it? On the other end of the spectrum we have girls getting fashion tips from Lady Gaga and learning that by wearing less they can get more; more attention, more affection, more advantages in life. This too is deplorable.

Therefore, I must demonstrate to Elijah what it looks like to be a man. For some fathers, that means enrolling him in a UFC training school where he can learn to be "confident" about himself - which usually results in becoming a bully. Being a man means that you learn to be responsible. You not only take responsibility for your actions when you do something stupid or wrong, but you also have the responsibility to act rightly. Being a man is to hold valor as more important than violence; being good at life as more important than having a good swing; being self-controlled as more important than giving in to your desires. I will teach him to embrace his God-given life of manhood. He will, Lord willing, be given the privilege and responsibility to lead a family, love a wife, and leave a legacy for his children. I only hope he learns how to do those things well by watching me give my all in obedience to Jesus by being a man and taking hold of the responsibilities given to me by God.

As for Savannah, I must protect her from the evils that seek to destroy her concept of what it means to be beautiful. I must demonstrate to her what it means to be a man so that when she seeks a husband she will have a good example of what kind of husband she desires. May she learn from watching me love Heather that it is far more important to be concerned about the measure of your holiness than the measurement of your hips. It was Heather's gentleness and grace that wooed me and won me. I hope and pray Savannah will embrace her femininity and pursue grace and gentleness because she will have learned that "charm is deceitful, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."