when life spoils

I was recently asked a deep and complex Theological question that I am wholly inadequate to answer: "what is God's will for my life?" 

This question seems to be the most pressing question in the life of young adults I work with. They are staring at the prospect of having to choose where they will attend school, which major they want to study, who they want to spend their life with, and eventually, where that life will be lived. Deep, complicated, perplexing questions that can paralyze even the most driven and determined young adult.

As the question continues to loom inside their minds and hearts, the unanswered question begins to take on a new life. The original question then becomes a new question: "why doesn't God just tell me what I should do?" They reason, "...that way everyone will be happy and I will finally know what to do."

I remember a number of years ago when The Blair Witch Project came out in theaters and there was a huge debate about whether or not the events captured on film were real. There were those who advocated for the authenticity of the film and were offended at the notion that it was scripted. Others, however, knew that the film was neither historical nor factual. When I decided to watch the movie, some friends and I were waiting in line at the local movie theater. When the showing before us came out of the theater people were talking about the film and some people who believed the film was scripted informed those of us in line, scene by scene, the events of the movie. I was so angry. I just paid to watch a movie that some dummy just spoiled for me - I watched it anyway because I had to get my money's worth! I remember thinking that I will never do that to anyone, ever. That is the worse thing to do in a movie theater (beside yelling "fire!").

I wonder if there is a connection between the movies and our lives? I'm in no way suggesting that the life we live is not real in any sense, but what I am saying is that life seems to be a collection of sequential moments that make up an entire story. If you were told in the middle of the story what the end was like, then the story looses its power and beauty and magic. In fact, it seems that if we did know what we were to do with our lives exactly, detail-by-detail, then it would loose its magic. It seems that it is God's good pleasure for us to discover His will for our lives by living our lives, moment by moment, with Him. And how do we usually know when a movie is bad: when you or someone you're with says, "I knew that was going to happen." Good stories keep you guessing and keep you alert and keep you intrigued.

So, what does God want you to do with your life? I think He wants us to make a grand story out of it. Micah 6:8 says that God has told us what is good, generally speaking: "...and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God."

But, you might ask, what kind of story should my life be? I think this is the real issue. We all want our lives to matter. We want our lives to count for something. We want to be significant, valuable, memorable. But it's precisely those who sought to be least that ended up being most remembered. And that is the catch. To live the kind of life that matters and to leave a legacy is to become less. You cannot do justice and be self-infatuated. You cannot love kindness and be self-seeking. You cannot walk humbly with God and be proud.

Overcoming self-infatuation, self-seeking, and pride is God's work on the hearts of man. It's the love of God that sets us free to live and write the grand story of our lives. As Augustine wrote, "Love God, then do as you please." The beauty, magic, adventure, and mystery we long for in our life and the desire to make our life count is rooted in love received from God, and love for God.

What is God's will for my life?

Answer: Love Him deeply. Do what you want. You will find that your wants are His will.