Saying Silly Things

So, I was recently having a conversation with a very bright young man and he asked a very good question: "Daddy, how come we park in our driveway? It isn't enough room to drive on." The inquisitor has a point. Although only 5 years-old, he could smell an oxymoron a mile away. He concluded his inquiry by stating, "That's silly, Daddy."

Indeed it is.

That interchange got me thinking about other silly things that we say, which often times go unnoticed. Little sayings have gone unchecked and sometimes they become part of our vernacular without really pondering their implications. So here are a couple others that I personally have said:

"That was seriously, funny..."

"That play (in football) was pretty ugly." (not in reference to Tim Tebow)

"Pick up your toys before you can have a treat. That's your only choice."

"If you're not officially dating, then I don't think you should be alone together."

"After that, make sure I get the original copy."

Those are somewhat harmless little slogans and phrases that we tend to say without thinking too much about them. But there are some things we say that do have bigger consequences and larger implications. Here is one of my favorites:

Stranger > Acquaintance > Friendship > Best Friends > Family

The title of this blog is a small and extremely succinct progression of interpersonal relationships. For most people they will agree right away that this seems to be the normal progression of how humanity in the North American and Western culture progresses to deeper and more meaningful relationships. Admittedly, there are exceptions to this progression. There may be certain circumstances that might prevent the progress, or that propel a relationship further along by skipping a step. Either way, most people would agree with this progression.

There is a popular commercial that is circulating on the Internet advertising Google+ called “Google+: Circles Love Story”. The commercial is a split screen of a man and woman using Google+ circles to define their relationship. The commercial begins with the creation of a “circle” of people and progresses from “creeper” to “maybe” to “keepers.” The reason the commercial is so captivating is because it points to the natural and often experienced reality of relational progression. It hits us right where we are and confirms our suspicions and our experiences. See commercial below.

On Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs passed away yesterday. It wasn’t something unexpected since his latest medical leave from Apple was speculated to be a result from his fight with cancer. Nonetheless, the news took me by surprise.

While I was standing in line at Peete’s, I was reading the newspaper that was left on one of the tables. The paper printed a cover story about the innovator, inventor, and black turtle-neck-wearing-czar of cool technology. As I was reading the article I was asked by a fellow patron, “pretty sad news, huh?” Yes. Of course it is sad news; death is rarely ever anything but.

The Patron calmly asserted that his death was probably better than what he was going through with cancer. “After all,” he said, “better to not exist than to exist in that kind of state.” I don’t think he really meant that. How, in any world, is it better to not exist than to exist? Non-existence can’t be better for anyone. It certainly isn’t better for the one that doesn’t exist because “better” is probably a state for people that actually exist. It certainly isn’t better for those people that do exist because a person’s existence may be inconsequential to most, but incredibly personal to others. Neither group would affirm the situation to be better. This truth seems self-evident. I can see it played out in the way our legal system functions. We send more people to prison for life than we sentence them to death because a fundamental human principle is that existence is better than non-existence.

Objective v. Subjective

I was able to preach at my church recently and I mentioned something that I have received a number of questions about. I made a comment that we live in a society and culture that operates with a subjective and relativistic approach to life and morals. But what does that even mean?

I had hoped my comment would have been easily understood, and I think it was for the most part. But the questions that came to me were ones of inquiry. Many simply wanted to know the difference between an objective standard and a subjective one. And how does preference and relativity play into that?

To understand subjectivity you might need to have a basic understanding of what objectivity is. To be objective is to be uninfluenced by opinion, preference, or emotions. Supposedly, Judges are to be objective, teachers are to be objective in their grading, and umpires are expected to be objective in their umpiring. That is to say, Judges - whether for the Olympics or in Law - are expected to make judgments from the actual performance uninfluenced by their personal opinions, preferences, and emotions related to the athlete and/or their country of origin. In Law, the Judge is expected to rule based on the facts and not on hunches, feelings, opinion, or personal vendettas. In these cases objectivity is an adjective - something that modifies a noun.

Another way to look at objectivity is to

Longing for Home

For those readers that were at Kairos last night, you are probably expecting a blog about movie watching and the condition it puts your soul in. This is not that post. This post is simply about the meaning, feeling, and purpose of what we call "home."

I have had several homes throughout my life. When I say a statement like that it gives the impression that my family moved all over the country like what is common with most military families. Truth is, we moved twice - both times within the city limits of the same town. I really can only remember one house I ever knew as home. I remember the first time I went to the house when I was about 3 and how I was bit several times by fleas that were jumping around from the carpet. And I also remember the day when I was 16 and my parents got new carpet (they didn't wait that long to get the fleas out!).

Now that I am a grown up (which I know is still debatable) I "visit" my parents in the house that I grew up in. It's a strange experience. The reality is that the house I grew up in is not really what is important. What is truly important is the feeling of home you get no matter what

The Best Judgment Day Ever!

This past weekend Heather and I and a group of leaders from Kairos went on a houseboat trip to celebrate the past year of ministry. We had a very good time laughing and talking, reading and writing, eating and sleeping, playing and relaxing. One of the highlights of the weekend was having one of the leaders confirm that Saturday was, "the best Judgment Day ever!" Of course the Saturday that he was referring to was May 21st. He was tubing behind a ski boat when he was flung 20 feet across the water and landed in the frigid water, bobbing up and down waiting for the boat to retrieve him. Once he boarded the boat, the now famous line was emphatically delivered: "this is the best Judgment Day ever!"

What I find hilarious about this comment is the logical implications that come with it: 1) When he said "best", what other Judgment Days did he have to compare with that would lead him to think Saturday was the best? Very interesting question. 2) He thought the May 21st Judgment Day was silly, but what was not silly is being thrown across a lake full of snow run-off water at 25MPH...that was what made this Judgment Day the best.

I talked with a woman at Barnes and Noble about what didn't happen on Saturday. The conversation just sprang up as I perused the Christian Living section of the bookstore. She is a self-proclaimed "intellectual"; too smart for religion. Although she did so rudely, she asked, "Aren't you kind of embarrassed by the end of the world not coming?" Wow. So, I answered her in the most honest way I could: "not any more than you are."

On Reading Books

Currently, I'm reading a book about church planting from Crossway. The book is written by Darrin Patrick who is a church planter and is vice president of Acts29 Church Planting Network and is a close associate of Mark Driscoll. Perhaps these are names that you recognize, maybe they are not. What I want to write about has little to do with what the book says, or about the men who write them. The fact that my eyes scan across ink on paper, bound with glue and called a book, is amazing.

Over the years my mom has kept pretty much all of my report cards. I have them from 1st grade through high school. I think most are accounted for and for the ones that are unaccounted for, there's probably a good reason they are "lost." By and large they exist and they tell a story.

Thoughts on OBL

There has been some pretty dramatic changes in the world over the last few days. You would have to be living under a rock to not know what I'm referring to. So, because of the well known events that have transpired, there is no reason to recap. But a great many people have begun to talk and say what they think - or at least regurgitate what someone else thinks and pawn it off as their own thoughts. So here are some of my thoughts. Many will disagree, some might agree, but at least we're thinking.

• Osama Bin Laden is dead and that is good. It is good for terrible men to no longer be afforded the opportunity to continue in their terribleness and run the risk of others joining them.

Easter Week

This is Easter week. For many people this is simply "Spring Break" or "Spring Recess" or whatever other politically correct title. Whatever the schools and public institutions have agreed to call it, it is what it is and that is Easter week.

Easter is bizarre. Mostly it's bizarre because there are numerous chocolate bunnies, plastic eggs, and fake grass stuffed in baskets for people to purchase as they celebrate the resurrection of a dead man that said he was God and would prove that he's God once he was raised from death. No scholar can quite articulate how the bunny eggs and pastel wrapped candy corresponds to the reality that Jesus is still alive. The bizarre festivities associated with Easter will surely pick up as the week progresses. There will be

Take a Break

So, I haven't posted a blog entry in roughly 3 weeks. Considering that I started posting only a few weeks prior to that it might appear that I gave in and quit. Untrue. In reality what happened was a question that I have been rolling around in my head. The question is: are you consumed by things that don't matter? I asked myself that question at the beginning of April and I didn't know how to answer it. So I just kept asking until I got somewhere.

Where I got is important, but the way in which I got there is also important. The process started when I asked myself quite simply, "what do I value? what is important? what am I for?" I was caught off guard by these questions because initially I thought I should start to determine what are the things that don't matter before anything else. But once I started down that trail it lead me to begin to name just about everything. So, I learned that to define something in the affirmative by citing all the things that it is not, is a pointless waste of time and accomplishes nothing.

A Believer from Beauty

My family didn't do many "family trips" when I was growing up, but there were a few. Specifically there were two little road trips to Washington State to visit my grandparents in a little town called Port Townsend. I was 8 years old the first time we traveled there so the "little town" seemed large and exciting. Heather and I went back as adults and now I know with certainty that it is indeed a little town.

Driving 1000 miles in a 1987 Chrysler Voyager minivan with a family of five makes for good family bonding. My brother and sister rotated the back seat for taking naps and I sat listening to a Walkman - that's right, a Walkman! - or sleeping against the window with my head bouncing back and forth on the glass. That trip took forever.

Face-to-face, part 2

In my last post I wrote about how face-to-face connection is essential to our human existence. The point of this post is to show the influence our culture and our technology is making on this kind of communication.

The point of face-to-face connection is the simple component of personal relationship. A deep relational connection occurs most effectively in face-to-face connection because the connection is between two persons that are sharing time together. The two (or maybe more) people may talk to one another, cry with one another, laugh with one another, or whatever else with one another. This is important to our existence. Isolation and separation are two terrible conditions. If that were not so, there would be no solitary confinement in prisons.

Face-to-face, part 1

This morning I was reading from a letter in the New Testament called 2 John. It was written in the last half of the first century by a guy that lived during the time of Jesus. He reported in another letter (1 John) that he was an eyewitness to the life and teachings of Jesus. His hands touched Jesus, his ears knew the voice of King Jesus, his eyes beheld the second person of the Trinity, our God and Savior, Jesus the Christ.

What stood out to me was a little verse at the end of the shortest book of the New Testament. It simply says,

 "[12] Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy may be complete."

John, an eyewitness of the ministry of Jesus, probably did have a lot to say to anyone that would listen. To travel with Jesus for 3+ years would definitely produce a good story or two.

Free Thinking

I have spent a good amount of time looking at pictures and watching video from the devastation in Japan. It's almost incomprehensible. For that earthquake to be thousands of times stronger than the '89 quake here is mind-blowing. When I watched the footage of the tsunami slamming into the small town of Otsuchi I was speechless. I had the thought, "I'm watching people die right now! Oh my goodness." It was the same feeling and same thought that I had in 2001 when I was sitting with roommates watching live footage of the World Trade Center collapsing. "I'm watching people die right now! Oh my goodness."

In the aftermath of this horrendous event, there has been a lot of talk about people's reactions in the media. I was reading about different celebrities tweeting their "heartfelt condolences" and responses to the tragedy. Reporters and news agencies were questioning celebrities about what they will do and what they think even to the point of asking these celebrities how they plan on helping the Japanese people. This is sad to me. When a catastrophe of this magnitude occurs and people scramble around to find out what celebrities are feeling, thinking, and doing about it, that is sad.

Prayers, Providence, and Provision

A few weeks ago I began an endeavor that is very exciting. I am a very amateur wood worker and for the longest time I have wanted a shop where I could have a place totally dedicated to wood working. That dream is beginning to come alive.

I am lucky enough to own a home that has a third car garage bay. It has been my vision since we bought this house to turn it into a wood shop. It's a small space with very little to offer, but I knew that it could eventually turn into a small, functional shop for the small projects that I enjoy doing. In order to have this vision come to fruition, there was a need for some huge upgrades to the space. I knew I needed a wall to separate the third bay from the rest of the garage (and to keep dust of Heather's car), I needed new electrical with a larger breaker, new outlets and fixtures, new lighting, insulation, sheet rock, and lastly, shop cabinets. As I looked at this list, I realized that with what little skill I had I was in no way prepared to take on such a project. But God provides.

What Ex Coram Deo means

I've written a few posts now and I think it's time to finally reveal what the title actually means. Although it appears that I just wanted some foreign language title to wow people and show off how smart I am (in reality I had to look it up to even know what it means), I actually came across the phrase Coram Deo in a book I was reading. While reading the book, I learned that the Latin phrase means literally "presence of God." I loved the idea of being in the presence of God and also liked the way Coram Deo sounds and I like the way it looks. So where did the Ex come from? The Ex is Latin for "from." When you put the three words together - Ex Coram Deo - you get the literal translation "from the presence of God."

This blog is meant to discuss some of the issues that I'm thinking about and experiencing, but ultimately it's about what God is teaching me as I come to Him with my life. What I get from those times of being in His presence I will write about and that is why I purposefully chose to add the Ex to the title. Thus, "from God's presence" I write these things; Ex Coram Deo.

Boys and Girls

My daughter turns three a mere 10 days after my son turned 5. We have a busy week of birthday celebrations in an attempt give each child the attention and recognition they need for their big day. And, in the same week, Heather and I celebrate our anniversary. It's busy to say the least.

When we found out we were having a boy, we bought things that were blue and went with a sports theme for Elijah. After all, he will be a professional athlete so we should just probably get him ready early! When Heather was pregnant with Savannah I was unaware of the gender of our second baby - and that was my choice. I forced Heather and all those in the know to keep it quiet. I wanted to be surprised. So, we bought "gender neutral" colors and had a "gender neutral" theme, animals.

Now that Savannah is turning three we understand that she loves the color pink and babies, dolls, and Jessie from Toy Story. She plays dress up no more than six minutes after she wakes up in the morning and will continue to wow us with her fashion shows throughout much of the day. She will often ask me, "do I look pretty Daddy?" She is a princess.

my birthday boy

My son Elijah was born 5 years ago. The birth experience was a difficult one for both my wife and I. As a father you mostly stand around getting yelled at by the future mom, the nurses, and any one else that happens to see you standing around while your wife is going through pain men will never know. But more than that, our son Elijah was born with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, twice. As he came into the world all the medical personnel began to make all the necessary arrangements to ensure that Elijah was okay. I, unfortunately, was not allowed to cut the cord. I was not allowed to touch him until they finished all the required tests. I simply stood in the middle of the room unable to do much of anything.

As Elijah was being attended to by the great nurses, Heather was receiving attention from the doctor. I was stuck between attending to my wife - which the doctors told me to stay back until they finished - and attending to my son - which the nurses told me to stay back until they finished! I was left to stand there and pray that God would do what I couldn't: help.

when life spoils

I was recently asked a deep and complex Theological question that I am wholly inadequate to answer: "what is God's will for my life?" 

This question seems to be the most pressing question in the life of young adults I work with. They are staring at the prospect of having to choose where they will attend school, which major they want to study, who they want to spend their life with, and eventually, where that life will be lived. Deep, complicated, perplexing questions that can paralyze even the most driven and determined young adult.

As the question continues to loom inside their minds and hearts, the unanswered question begins to take on a new life. The original question then becomes a new question: "why doesn't God just tell me what I should do?" They reason, "...that way everyone will be happy and I will finally know what to do."